I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
