I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
