She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
