I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
