party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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