farters have to be the big spoon...
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Just invented taco cereal.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
