How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize