So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
