He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
