Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
