i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize