Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
