i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I think a kid would responsible me up
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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