so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
