Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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