My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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