Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
