And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
