Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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