big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
We are two peas in an std pod
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
