Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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