Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.

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  (917): I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop. http://tfl.nu/w9jv
  Replies (3) Good night (1403) Bad night (632) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.

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  (402): The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey. http://tfl.nu/ja6h
  Replies (46) Good night (11006) Bad night (666) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us

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  (919): CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us http://tfl.nu/dd67
  Replies (80) Good night (3381) Bad night (4536) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.

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  (859): The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know. http://tfl.nu/3jb2
  Replies (17) Good night (5712) Bad night (607) Order T-Shirt
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.

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  (912): He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it. http://tfl.nu/csjq
  Replies (21) Good night (5626) Bad night (1049) Order T-Shirt
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.

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  (216): my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win. http://tfl.nu/rx98
  Replies (15) Good night (3445) Bad night (1440) Order T-Shirt
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.

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  (832): you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would. http://tfl.nu/dwd2
  Replies (7) Good night (5079) Bad night (2328) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.

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  (515): She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself. http://tfl.nu/imt6
  Replies (8) Good night (4495) Bad night (1194) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n

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  (416): He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n http://tfl.nu/pe4m
  Replies (21) Good night (11896) Bad night (1027) Order T-Shirt
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing

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  (810): There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing http://tfl.nu/i1k5
  Replies (7) Good night (2609) Bad night (949) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free

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  (203): My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free http://tfl.nu/uzsl
  Replies (2) Good night (1586) Bad night (486) Order T-Shirt
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.

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  (928): I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on. http://tfl.nu/43cf
  Replies (4) Good night (1274) Bad night (454) Order T-Shirt
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.

  (1-803): View more from South Carolina

  Am I going to be on condom boxes?

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  (803): You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time. (1-803): Am I going to be on condom boxes? http://tfl.nu/pwx5
  Replies (3) Good night (2129) Bad night (329) Order T-Shirt
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  (386): View more from Florida

  I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over

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  (386): I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over http://tfl.nu/gegy
  Replies (3) Good night (891) Bad night (248)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you

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  (502): I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you http://tfl.nu/6iu1
  Replies (3) Good night (690) Bad night (165) Order T-Shirt

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