OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
