he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
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you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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