The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
