Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
