By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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