I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
