Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
