They should really pass out barf bags in church
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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