i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
