So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
