I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I just forgot I was standing up.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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