how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Randomize
