There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
