we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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