The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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