The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
