I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
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