I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
