So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
