R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
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