arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
