He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
