everyone is single if you try hard enough
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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