well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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