Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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