the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
