I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
