it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize