I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
