The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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