Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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