how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
