ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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