Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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