Only a mothe r could love this liver
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize